Monday, December 26, 2005

You Know You're Malaysian When...



You complain about the quality of the pirated DVD you just purchased. "What, RM10 for DVD5?! Aiyah, boss ... sound no good, cheaperlah ..."

You're willing to consume sambal petai and durian and gladly suffer the bloating and wind-breaking incidents.

You're exceedingly polite to the Mat Sallehs but you slag your own kind. "Hello, sir. Why don't you sit here, it's got the best view of the city skyline." But, "Aunty-ah, your table is over there next to the kitchen."

You order Maggi goreng and fried chicken, complain about how oily the food is, and then proceed to finish it anyway.

You love to talk about food. You're already thinking about what to have for dinner while eating lunch. "I'm stuffed. What shall we have for dinner?"

You dive into a communal-style meal the moment the dish lands on the table only to hesitate at the last morsel of food on the serving dish. There are two possible explanations for this: the first is the pai seh (embarrassed) factor, while the other is the myth that the person who eats the last piece will be a spinster.

You hit the accelerator the moment the first drop of rain hits your windshield. "Alamak, it's going to rain. Sure traffic jam one. I'd better drive faster."

You seize the opportunity to make a U-turn anywhere ... especially where there is a sign telling you not to. Well, so long as the cops aren't in sight.

You feel a burning desire to send text messages and even have the gall to give your friend a blow-by-blow account of the movie to your friend on the handphone during the screening of the movie. "Okay, now that girl Lizzie is impersonating an Italian singer; she so doesn't look Italian ..."

You forsake your loved ones for the all-important four letter-word: S-A-L-E. "Sorry, mum, I can't take you to Aunt Mary's because I have to go to MidValley before the crowd." You?re also more than happy to be part of the insane traffic jam that forms around malls during weekends and sale periods.

11. Reality shows Akademi Fantasia and Malaysian Idol dictate your social life. "What, no TV at the mamak? Count me out ? I'm staying home. Rinie needs my support."

You pepper every sentence with lah. "No-lah, I can't see you today-lah. I have to study-lah. You know-lah, the prison warden aka mak is watching me like a hawk"

You fail to function normally without your daily dose of teh tarik and nasi lemak.

You have owned at least one Proton in your lifetime. Cheap, cheap. That is until you start to make enough dough to buy that Honda you've been salivating over.

You slow down at an accident site to take down the car number plate, but won't step out of your car to help the victim could be a robber!

You'd rather park your car along the main road outside the mall, where there's a yellow line, rather than pay RM1 to park inside where there are adequate bays.

You plead, bat your eyelids and relate a sob story to the officer at the town council office to let you off the hook (or reduce the amount considerably) for the fine you incurred when you parked your car on the double line.

You make an appointment for 10am and conveniently show up a half hour late ? Malaysian time, what ...

You pop open the wet tissue packet at the Chinese restaurant by squeezing the trapped air to the top of the packet before proceeding to smash your fist into it. The louder the pop the better.

You greet your friend / neighbor / acquaintance on the street with "How are things?" or "Have you eaten?" or better yet, by stating the obvious: "Went to market ah?"

Ramlee burger is the "piece de resistance" of your growing-up-years cuisine.

You catch all major televised events at the mamak.

You have roughly six meals a day (breakfast, mid-morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper). Then there's the snacking ? keropok ikan, pisang goreng, muruku, jam tarts and the like.

You get the whole family dressed to the nines, jump into the car and head for the minister's open house and ask for styrofoam boxes and plastic bags to tar pau (take away) food.

Your accent and language style vary according to the race of the person you are conversing with.

You've got a friendly disposition. Smiles are abundant and your "Apa khabar?" is warm and sincere.

You exclaim loudly how expensive everything is, even though the items may in fact be going for a steal. "Wah! So expensive, ah? Hak sei ngor (Scare me to death)!"

You dig deep into your pockets to contribute to the latest appeal for donations in the newspapers.

You "dis" our country all the time, but as soon as something good happens (like winning the Thomas Cup), you morph into a proud Malaysian.

You never travel abroad without a bottle of chilli sauce, or sachets which you can sneak into restaurants.

You're proud to be Malaysian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Malaysian friends!

Source: Blogthings

If you can understand everything you've just read...

Or actually practicing it...

Well, what can i say, you know you are Malaysian...

Perhaps, we should be celebrating "Malaysian Day"...

31 August will never be the same again!

10 Comments:

At 3:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont like it.

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Robin CHAN said...

haha Low,

Sound very applicable for Singaporean too.

RM 10 for DVD5, that's really expensive, thought it was 6 or 7 only... and nowaday got those super 3 shows in one DVD, 4 shows and even 5 in one DVD.

I just got all the Batman series in one DVD..

oops.. cannot tell people.

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger Francis Ho said...

You know you're a Malaysian Female when u answered "thanks but no thanks" when u are invited to go kayaking!

 
At 5:15 PM, Blogger @ロウ 。LOW@ said...

dian...
One short powerful note. I'm not sure what you don't like though, my friend.

But again always look at the bright side, or start making the changes...

mingming...
Too late if you already surrender, too early if you still unaware of it at all!

robin...
I think if you buy those with few movies in one DVD, it will sacrifice th surround system. But of course, it's still bloody good compare to VCD!

Erm, Batman suppose to help on catching those pirated DVD seller, but you...now i know why you both go on different path, hehe!

emmy_chang...
Obviously, those are not joke, hehe! And i witness some of it almost everyday!

Proud some, embarassed some. There's always room to excel. I'll have mixed feeling, i guess :)

Ogenki de!

fh2o...
My friend, either you are getting a bit too personal here or you have not met the correct (wrong?) girl, hehe!

I'll find you some girls when i go there. Make sure you have enough kayak or few more 'hero' to help the ladies...erm, hero like robin??? Haha!!!

 
At 11:45 PM, Blogger The Moody Minstrel said...

You certainly have courage as well as wit and insight, Low. Right now I'm not sure I'd have the male jewels to post something similar about Americans right now. I'd probably get accused of treason...again...

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger HappySurfer said...

FH2o, that's a good one - sure rings a bell. LOL!

Low, good compilation but embarrassing human traits.

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger YD said...

looks like I have 51.6% of the characteristics of Malaysians..

*^_^*

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger @ロウ 。LOW@ said...

Moody...
I'm fully aware of ISA while writing this post. The states don't have ISA. But something similar, i believe. Good luck, my friend :p

Some people do things right today but wrongly few days later. Some cultures are right for few generation before going wrong.

Few generations before it turned right again? Who knows!

happysurfer...
"George," said his father, "do you know who killed that beautiful little cherry tree yonder in the garden?"

And George bravely cried out...

YD...
Wrong answer.

You are 51.6% of what you've read. But your are 100% of Malaysian, Chinese-Malaysian, Chinese-Hainanese-Malaysian...

Whatever lar! Hehe!!! :p

 
At 12:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know you're malaysian when...

马来西亚尊严被外国博客攻击﹐是马来西亚人的话请来帮手﹗

http://khamun.blogspot.com/2005/12/blog-post_26.html

 
At 4:12 PM, Blogger 卡門 said...

樓上的還真神通廣大,竟然會召集其他人來看。真想知道樓上的人是誰。其實也沒有樓上說的這麼嚴重。

 

Post a Comment

<< Home