For Our Brothers

“So Mr. Low, you will go to Haris’ house. This year my house cannot celebrate.”

“Yes, this is the most important day of Tihar. Brother’s Day!”

Everyone are talking about Tihar festival for the past few days. On the sunny morning of 19th October, someone said today is Crow’s Day. Few of us were enjoying our 6Rs bus ride to sleepy Dhulikhel town, 3km southeast of Banepa, and completely forget about it. So, they honour the crows? Little that I know that they are the “spies of death” sent by Yam Raj, Hindu God of Death. And so, offering of rice to the crows mark the beginning of Newar women’s effort to save their love one: Their brothers.


And story goes: By the fifth day of Tihar, The Brother’s day or Bhai Tika, the messenger of death comes in pair, ready to take their brothers away. But every family is busy celebrating, or rather bidding farewell to their brothers. The brothers would sit on traditional floor paved with mixture of mud and cow dung. Sisters perform pooja, literally means worshipping their brother by dabbing multicolored tika on their forehead, together with dozens of offerings like flower garland, fruits, nuts, candies…


It is said that the ceremony went on so long, that the messenger forget their purpose of being there. As so all brothers live on for another year, for another Bhai Tika!


You wonder, what happen if one does not have any sisters? Well, in Nepal, that is quite impossible because anybody married into a family will become brothers and sisters, and treat each other like one. If their brother can’t wait for another Bhai Tika, the celebrated Dog’s Day (second day of Tihar) served its purpose: dog is believed to guide the departed souls in their afterlife journey.


The ceremony almost comes to an end when the sisters are given gifts like ornaments, clothes, money, etc. by their brothers. And it always end with few servings of unique Nepali food like deep frying Nepali Roti/Sel Roti (apart from usual dal bhaat tarakari).

It is a cold night but we quickly went back on the street to catch some fresh air. As expected, every boy would look just like Hari, although basically, everybody is blessed: Including me! We are hanging out at Tachupal Tole, sitting right next to famous (it’s in the guide book anyway) Café de Peacock enjoying the beautifully lit Dattatraya Temple. Hari bought some beers, saying that it is a special night and moreover, to have us. Somehow I felt like my life is “extended”, finished the beer instead of saying thank you. We both know he can do something similar, when we finally meet again.


The next morning, we accompany Hari to Hanuman Bhat, sacred river south of Tachupal Tole. Here, Hari would dispose all the colorful flowers used yesterday. Again, some faithful sisters (women) would do the necessary cleaning before it is taken by gentle flow of Hanumante river…

And soon I am gone with the wind. But I remember pretty well, just what happened the night before I left…


Beers can’t give you warmth like you friends did, that’s for sure!